TYPICAL ERROR We live in a world that is so reliant on energy that, unless we solve the problem of how to keep generating energy, before long we will have an ‘energy crisis’. At the moment we provide the energy that keeps houses lit, dinners cooking, washing machines churning, computers humming and the wheels of industry moving, largely by burning coal, oil and gas. Not only are these fuels highly polluting but they are also running out. This means that there is an urgent need for us to develop alternative methods of generating power. One suggested source of energy is water in motion. Hydro-electricity is responsible for some of the power provided today, but the amount generated is small. To increase the amount of hydro power significantly, we would need to harness the tides! While that may sound like an attractive option, there are enormous technological problems that have to be solved before harnessing the tides becomes a viable option. Atomic energy is also providing some of our energy supply today. Unfortunately, there are certain unsolved problems associated with the production of atomic power. In particular, there is the problem of what to do with the dangerous atomic wastes, which remain dangerous for thousands of years. This problem, and the possibility of large-scale accidents at nuclear power plants, makes this option highly controversial. Many people place great hope in the development of solar energy. After all, the sun supplies a virtually limitless supply of energy. While a great deal of energy is used in the making of the solar panels themselves, once they are made, there are no further pollutants. Panels are even being made today that continue to function in low-light conditions. Of course, solar panels do not work at night - and the cost of storing energy in batteries
is extremely expensive, so solar generation is not a solution in itself. The world is facing an energy crisis. The burning of fossil fuels is old, inefficient technology and the fuels are running out anyway, so there is an urgent need to find better alternatives. At the moment, the best option appears
to be for us to invest heavily in solar power. Using solar power will at least provide some time for scientists to try to develop even more options for reducing power. One thing is certain: sitting on our hands is not an option, because if we do that, the energy crisis will turn into a bitter reality - and our lights, microwaves, washing machines, computers and industrial machines will stop operating.
CORRECTION Organise your essay into paragraphs, as shown below. Notice that
each paragraph has been organised around one main idea. That main idea is brought into focus in a topic sentence.
We live in a world that is so reliant on energy that, unless we solve the problem of how to keep generating energy, before long we will have an ‘energy crisis’. At the moment we provide the energy that keeps houses lit, dinners cooking, washing machines churning, computers humming and the wheels of industry moving, largely by burning coal, oil and gas. Not only are these fuels highly polluting but they are also running out. This means that there is an urgent need for us to develop alternative methods
of generating power.
One suggested source of energy is water in motion. Hydro-electricity is responsible for some of the power provided today, but the amount generated is small. To increase the amount of hydro power significantly, we would need to harness the tides! While that may sound like an attractive option, there are enormous
technological problems that have to be solved before harnessing the tides becomes
a viable option.
Atomic energy is also providing some of our energy supply today. Unfortunately, there are certain unsolved problems associated with the production of atomic power. In particular, there is the problem of what to do with the dangerous atomic wastes, which remain dangerous for thousands of years. This problem, and the possibility of large-scale accidents at nuclear power plants, makes this option highly controversial.
Many people place great hope in the development of solar energy. After all, the sun supplies a virtually limitless supply of energy. While a great deal of energy is used in the making of the solar panels themselves, once they are made, there are no further pollutants. Panels are even being made today that continue to function in low-light conditions. Of course, solar panels do not work at night - and the cost of storing energy in batteries is extremely expensive, so solar generation is not a solution in itself.
The world is facing an energy crisis. The burning of fossil fuels is old, inefficient technology and the fuels are running out anyway, so there is an urgent need to find better alternatives. At the moment, the best option appears to be for us to invest heavily in solar power. Using solar power will at least provide some time for scientists to try to develop even more options for reducing power. One thing is certain: sitting on our hands is not an option, because if we do that, the energy crisis will turn into a bitter reality - and our lights, microwaves, washing machines, computers and industrial machines will stop operating.
EXPLANATION Paragraphs in essays help the writer to organise thoughts so that they are expressed clearly and logically. If each paragraph is about one basic topic, then the reader can work out more easily what the writer is saying than if the essay just rambles on in a confused swirl of ideas.
If each paragraph is to be about one basic topic, we need to work out before we write what our topics will be and the order in which we will deal with them. For example, a plan for the sample essay above might look like this:
- Paragraph 1: the need for alternative power sources
- Paragraph 2: water as a power source
- Paragraph 3: atomic power
- Paragraph 4: solar power
- Paragraph 5: the short-term answer = solar
Notice that the uncorrected sample essay actually proceeds in a logical fashion; its only fault is that it hasn’t been set out in paragraphs, even though the writer has dealt with each topic in an orderly way. Some essays cannot be so readily divided into paragraphs because the ideas are not arranged in any order at all, while other essays that are set out in paragraphs are not well planned because the paragraphs are not really about one topic.
These sentences are in the correct order but need to be organised into three paragraphs. Press 'return' twice after the appropriate full stops to divide the text into logical paragraphs.
Communications systems today are really very advanced. We can travel from one side of the globe to the other in a matter of hours to make personal contacts. If that isn't quick enough for us, then distant contacts are no farther away than the nearest computer or phone. Furthermore, because of satellite technology, we can actually see events unfolding in distant places as they occur. This is a very different situation from that of just a century ago. Imagine waiting a month or two for news of events on the other side of the world to reach you. Is it really any wonder that people were narrow in their view of the world and its problems? How could they have been otherwise. Today, however, we live in a 'global village'. This means that we have been put into very close contact with the rest of the people on this globe, this world, by our communications systems. We can no longer, therefore, ignore distant events. We participate in them whether we like it or not!
