English Toolkit

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1.2Controlling a string of qualifiers
TYPICAL ERROR Our party's objective is to maximise young people's like my daughter's choices.
CORRECTION Our party's objective is to maximise the choices of young people like my daughter.

EXPLANATION With adjectival phrases and clauses, problems occur when people try to put a number of adjectival phrases and/or clauses together. Our corrected model shows the correct sequence of information. The party's objective is:

... to maximise the choices
   of young people
    like my daughter

In that sequence, the noun 'choices' is qualified by the adjectival phrase of young people ... and then 'people' is qualified by the phrase like my daughter. This sort of string of adjectival information can cause confusion if people get the sequence wrong and lose track of what is qualifying what. The result is clumsy synthesis such as in the typical error.

To solve the problem, we just need to sort out in our mind what the main noun is and then what the sequence of qualifiers is: e.g. the choices (noun) ... of young people ... like my daughter.

Finish these sentences so that the adjectival phrases and clauses are strung together in the best sequence. (For example, He has been asked to be a groomsman for one of his friends' wedding would be better phrased as: He has been asked to be a groomsman for the wedding of one of his friends.) Make sure you use correct punctuation at the ends of sentences!
aI don't know the boy's name who won the contest.



bDid you see the mouse in the hawk's claw that flew into the tree?



cShould we put fresh straw in the mare's stable that had the foal?



dPhotographers suddenly surrounded the guy in front of me's car.



eWe wish to speak to the red car's driver that was seen speeding away.



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